Clean hands. No confessions required.
A soap forged in aftermath. Lathers like a confession. Cleans like absolution.
Bad Decisions & Regret
You Knew Better. You Did It Anyway
Warm lather.
Zero judgement.
Start again. Or don’t. Your call.
Stripe payment coming. Mischief already here.
On Skin
Rich foam.
Clean rinse.
Comfortable finish.
Skin feels fresh, not tight.
Ready for whatever you’re doing next.
For
For Washing Off the Evidence
This is not a spa-day floral.
It’s warm.
It’s slightly wicked.
It smells like you’ve got stories.
Cleans without stripping.
Leaves skin soft.
Leaves you unbothered.
The Vessel
Approx 90g | Black Box
The Protocol
Let’s Not Pretend This Was Innocent
Lather slowly.
Let the scent rise.
Rinse.
You survived it.
The Evidence You Can Smell
Cherry heat.
Tobacco air
Warm skin.
Soft smoke
Nothing sweet.
Born of Consequence, Bottled with Intent
Crafted in small, unapologetic batches in Yorkshire by a woman who knows better — and sometimes still doesn’t give a f***.
This is not your Sunday self-care.
It’s aftermath anointing.
A little bit ritual. A little bit reckoning.
For skin that’s walked through fire and dares to smoulder anyway.
The Particulars
What’s In It
Ingredients: Sodium avocadoate, Sodium cocoate, Sodium cocoa butterate, Sodium olivate, Sodium sunflowerate, Sodium castorate, Aqua, Charcoal powder, pink clay, Parfum (Smells like a bad idea)
The Small Print
We’re Not Your Lawyer. Or Your Mother.
Yes, this product is formulated with care, tested on willing humans (never animals), and made to love your skin like a well-kept secret. But all skin is different - even gloriously chaotic skin like yours.
Do a patch test first, especially if your skin has opinions. We’re not liable if you slather this on, ignore your own skin’s red flags, and wake up in a fiery mess of regret. You wouldn’t go in blind on a third date - don’t do it with a bar of soap. If irritation occurs, stop using; if admiration occurs, continue as desired
Avoid getting it in your eyes; some truths aren’t meant to be seen, don't eat it (yes, it smells that good), and keep it away from tiny humans and pets. Store cool, dry, and far from the scene of your next regret.
Activated charcoal may stain light cloths if left sitting — don’t blame the bar
Use daily or whenever your life choices require intervention
In short: be bold, not reckless. Unless it’s worth it. Then you do you.
We are not responsible for the actions you take while clean.
The evidence may wash away — your choices remain your own.
Because…
Rules don’t apply here. But taste? Taste matters. Go on — see what else is calling.
